Planning a wedding

Everyone likes a wedding – they make us feel happy and optimistic, reminding us of our own hopes and dreams and our feelings for our loved ones.  But what about planning a wedding?  How does your personality influence how you approach organising a wedding?

I have a friend whose daughter is getting married in a couple of months.  She (the mother of the bride) is full of excitement and enthusiasm for the task.  She is involved in all the arrangements with her daughter and involves others in them too.  She is looking forward to seeing everyone enjoying themselves on the wedding day, and she will be a presence at the wedding, using her energy to bring everyone together and make them feel involved in the event.  She naturally has the energising style and brings her talents for persuading, facilitating and brainstorming to the wedding arrangements.

A couple of years ago, a colleague organised her daughter’s wedding.  This was complicated because the daughter was getting married in the USA and so the groom’s parents in the USA initially took on the task of making arrangements.  My colleague felt that everything was taking too long and there was too much discussion and not enough action.  She (with the agreement of the future in-laws) took over most of the organisation.  She made decisions and got things done on time and to budget.  She naturally has the mobilising style and brought her talents for deciding, directing and executing to organising the wedding.

At another wedding last year, the bride and groom did much of the organising themselves, with some support from their parents.  The bride wanted to make sure that all arrangements were thought through in detail and that nothing was left to chance.  She even decided to organise her own hen party – she said that “I would be stressed if I didn’t know what was going to happen”.  When she told me about it afterwards, she was happy because everything had gone to plan and there were no unwelcome surprises.  She naturally has the navigating style and brought her talents for planning, monitoring and adjusting to organising the wedding.

Another friend’s daughter got married last year.  Again the bride and groom made a lot of the decisions and plans themselves.  The bride’s mother kept in regular contact with her daughter, helped and advised when asked and made sure that all aspects had been considered in a caring and low-key way.  She was concerned that people’s needs would be met and that the groom’s family were kept informed and happy with the plans.  She told me that she didn’t seem to have a lot to do, but she was happy with that, provided everything worked out as the bride and groom wanted.  She naturally has the synthesising style and brought her talents for defining, clarifying and supporting to the wedding arrangements.

People of each style bring different drives and approaches to organising a wedding and they get their satisfaction from different aspects.  For the Energiser, seeing everyone participating and enjoying themselves is the reward.  Mobilisers get a sense of satisfaction from the feeling of a task achieved.  Navigators are satisfied when everything goes to plan.  And Synthesisers find their reward in helping to make the day as successful as it could be.

Read more about the four styles here.

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