Valentine’s Day Dilemmas


It is likely that your personality type influences what you think and feel about Valentine’s Day, but not necessarily what you choose to do and say.

Knowing your personality type gives you insight into how your mind works, how you perceive and judge the world around you.  But it does not predict your behaviour – what you do and say – as behaviour is influenced by many other variables in addition to your personality type and in any case, you have choice in how you behave.

Valentine’s Day can cause conflict in couples, because it means different things to them.  It is also overburdened with social and cultural expectations about men and women.  What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?  And what does it mean to your partner? 

Here are some ideas about how different personality types perceive and judge Valentine’s Day.  I have grouped the 16 MBTI types into four temperament groupings which relate to motivation to act. 

  • For the Stabilisers, (SJ preferences), Valentine’s Day may be an opportunity to observe tradition and do something practical for your partner to show you care for them.
  • For the Improvisers, (SP preferences), Valentine’s Day may be a chance to surprise your partner with something spontaneous and impressive.
  • For the Catalysts, (NF preferences), Valentine’s Day may be an opportunity to do something symbolic and meaningful for your partner.
  • For the Theorists, (NT preferences), Valentine’s Day may be a chance to discuss and debate some interesting ideas. 

For a happy Valentine’s Day, reflect on what it means to your partner, so that you can live up to their expectations. 

Check out the fun type table from the Myers Briggs Company (was OPP).  It’s got me (INTP) and my husband (ISTJ) exactly right!  We have agreed not to celebrate Valentine’s Day at all this year, and that suits me just fine!